The Blight Of The Open Mic Spot

When I was a boy, my mum used to recount an old Yorkshire saying:

Hear all, see all, say nowt
Eat all, drink all, pay nowt
And if you ever do owt for nowt, do it for yourself.

I've never forgotten the wisdom of those words.  And while I can't profess to sticking to the second line too often and I may have slipped up from time to time with regards to the opening sentence, I have almost certainly followed the closing line to the letter.  

The tradition of the open mic spot is something of which I've been aware since I started performing back in the mid-nineties.  It should really be called the "ripping off the artist spot" or the "do something for nothing spot".  Working for fuck all only ever seems to happen in the performing world.  You'd never get an electrician or a plumber agreeing to do a job for free, just for the "experience"; indeed, tradesmen's fees seem totally arbitrary and yet we cough up the readies without question, suckers that we are.

So, why do performers so willingly turn themselves into mugs for those who would exploit them?  Is it insecurity?  Lack of confidence?  I honestly don't know, never having allowed myself to be taken for a ride.  At least not voluntarily...

I mentioned that I started performing in the mid nineties - ninety ninety-four to be exact - courtesy of a local band who offered me a spot in the interval.  The deal was transparent: an unofficial support act appearing at select shows with no publicity and no payment (although groupies, free beer and drugs softened that particular blow).  A bunch of friends doing me a favour.

But I was soon to learn that altruism is a rare commodity in showbiz, and yes I ended up being taken for a mug a couple of times by people who were less than honorable.  But I learned quick - fool me once, and all that. 

Open mic spots.  Don't trust 'em.

You see, only a fool works for nothing.  If somebody asks you to lend your talents freely, always be sceptical.  Because you can bet your arse that someone somewhere will be benefitting while you go without.   

So, if you're reading this and you're an aspiring artist, first of all I say good luck to you.  Believe in yourself because there will be times when all you will have to comfort you is self-belief.  And never, ever forget: if you ever do owt for nowt, do it for yourself.

Peace.  

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